Bride Wars

Instead of being politically savvy and tuning into Obama's speech, I watched Bride Wars with my mom and sister. (I promise I'll read the President's speech later.) The show was cute, but I wouldn't recommend it for men; it is definitely a chick flick. I especially enjoyed the body-slam in full wedding regalia. It made my day.

By the way, I had an awesome weekend. My mom and sister took me shopping for a suit, my belated Christmas present. We found the perfect suit! All I have to do is wait for the pants to come in the mail. (They didn't have my size.) Now I can look sharp for interviews.
After my dignified suit-shopping experience, I got to goof off with my girlfriends at a surprise birthday party. I can't act refined all the time, right?

Weird Premonition Dream

Last night I dreamed that I was driving a large diesel truck in a cramped parking lot. I was backing out, and I had to turn the car around many times. It was hard to see where both the hood and the back of the car were located. I felt a jolt, and I had backed into a police car that was parked in the parking lot. A police woman got out of the vehicle and inspected the damage on the car, which was an SUV, like some cops are starting to drive. All we could find was a dent in her liscence plate, so she told me to go ahead and leave and not worry about it. The police woman got back in the passenger seat and her male parner pulled out, backing into a flatbed full of fourwheelers. In fact, the police car hit one of the fourwheelers so hard that the left part of the handle bars completely broke off and flew across the parking lot. I breathed a sigh of relief and pulled out of the parking lot.

Later today, I got gas, and the pump that I pulled up to was broken, so I had to back around a parked police car to get to another pump. It was an SUV, just like in my dream. I backed around it very carefully. I passed another police SUV on the way to work. He was hiding out in a church parking lot, ready to pull over unsuspecting victims. Finally, at work, I made a delivery and made a wrong turn. The narrow street where I had to turn around had yet another parked police car that I had to carefully back around. Go figure.

Family History

I organized an enrichment activity at the Family History Center in Idaho Falls, and only three people showed up. That's a pretty good turn out for a small group to do their family history, but I made refreshments. Little did I realize that two of the three people that showed up would be allergic to flour. Oops.

At least I'm not "dead" like the woman who gave us a tour of the center. She had been doing research and found herself in one of the archives. Apparently, one of her distant cousins had submitted her name as a "deceased individual." I had to check in the archives to see if I was "dead." Good thing I'm still "alive."

The Good Old Days

I was sorting old files in the office, and I came across a pre-employment information form from 1978. Half of the stuff they asked is no longer legal. For example, there is a place to check the applicant's ethnicity, and "American Indian" is on the form, not "Native American." In fact, that question is completely eliminated when considering employment today. (Unless you are applying for a government job, in which case it is okay because the government can get away with anything. I found that out when I applied for a government job that I still haven't heard back from because it takes them eight freaking months to respond [insert bitter, crazed laugh here]). The form also asks for the age and marital status of the person (not as part of tax information) and whether or not the applicant is a Vietnam Veteran. As I read the form, I wondered what an "Alien Registration Card" was and if we still have them. And my personal favorite: asking the future employee if he or she has a "handicap." Those were the good old days.

Blood

Last night I made a delivery for the American Red Cross, which entails picking up thirty-pound boxes full of blood and delivering them to a lab in the hospital. It's one of the things I do in my job that makes me feel like I've done something really great: I've taken a part in saving a person's life—unless that person dies—and in that case, I will never know. So possibly I do nothing.

The whole time I was making the delivery, I had a random thought—an irrational fear of mine. What if I got in a horrific accident and the blood burst from the box and got all over me. Of course, this would have to be a bad enough accident to crush my car and the thick, protective box containing the blood from the Red Cross—in which case I would probably die on impact—but I would die amidst someone else's AB+ blood. Gross!

I'm going to have to leave blogging to watch Desperate Housewives. I have my priorities.

My Friend's Mission Call

Tonight I went to see a friend open her mission call, and she got called to the Sao Paulo, Brazil mission. I think it is so scary to surrender yourself to the will of God and trust that everything will be okay as you travel to whichever place you are called to go. In April my friend will go to Brazil, learn Portuguese for a couple of weeks, and then be expected to communicate with people in a new language and preach the gospel for a year and a half. I really admire her a lot for that.

Potluck

I just got back from a potluck in my singles' branch. After dinner, we did relay races, and it reminded me of grade school. At twenty-three years old I was once again forced to walk in a straight line holding an egg in a spoon. I also did a crab-walk, walked around with a book on my head, and did several other things that one would only do at a wholesome church activity.

Then it dawned on me. Some cops have a very boring time pulling people over for DUIs, and I think it would be beneficial for them to spice things up with a few props. The unsuspecting drunkard will then be forced to walk in a straight line holding an egg in a wooden spoon. If he or she drops the egg, a DUI will be issued. A cop would also be kind to ask the person to toss a balloon in the air and complete an obsticle course without letting the balloon touch the ground. If the person walks into oncoming traffic while focusing on the balloon-toss, a DUI will be issued. I would also like to see a person try to do a backwards crab-walk after guzzling a six-pack of beer.

Good thing I'm not in law enforcement.

Freezing Rain

My mom and I went out in the freezing rain to get socks. There are weather warnings that say "no unecessary travel," and my mom needed socks. Go figure. None of the two stores we went to had socks in a women's large, so she bought a pair of athletic shoes to keep her feet warm, and we went to Albertson's, where I used to work. It's so weird to go back to a place that was once so familiar. I see something out of place on one of the shelves and have the instinct to put it away, forgetting that I'm a customer, not an employee. It feels weird to be in Albertson's and not be in a checkstand or pushing a long line of carts while trying to dodge traffic at the same time. People didn't care that I was wearing a bright orange vest; they would look right at me and revv their engines. Today I instictively looked around for cars, but no one would run me over because I wasn't wearing a bright-orange target.

Work

Today was snowy, as usual. One thing that I notice about working for a company full of drivers is that snowy roads can literally affect an entire day. When making a delivery, our customers will attempt to make small talk. They talk about driving to work as if it is a trek. "...Yeah, there was, like, four inches of snow on my car this morning, and it took me, like, fifteen minutes to drive to work, and I live five miles away."

"Yeah, buddy, I just shoveled three employee vehicles out of the snow, and there's two road closures, so we had to modify all the routes. I totally get where you're coming from." There are some things that I never say aloud.

Today I feel lucky I didn't get into an accident. While I was meeting another driver to make a transfer, a red pickup came careening around the corner like it was hot-rod season in July. Only it's January, and his car lost control a hundred feet from the nose of my vehicle. Another incident almost occurred when an older couple made a right-hand turn in the left-only lane. I was in the right-hand lane, two feet away from a calm looking grandma who had no idea whether her husband was even on the road and who seemed to care less.

Update

Work
So, I haven't written on my blog in forever, as you may have noticed. What's new? Not a whole lot. I'm still operating the coin machine, and Friday I had the privilege of conquering my biggest fear: cleaning the men's room at work. I swear, that bathroom is worse than any truck stop bathroom by far. I wore gloves and swiched out the disposable Clorox wipes after every couple of wipes. I do not worry about conserving the environment while cleaning that bathroom. The toilet has things caked on it that have been there since the 1990's. Yes, that was in the last milennium.

A few days in the new year, and I've already conquered my worst fear. Not bad, indeed. I would also be happy to inform you all that I cleaned out the coin machine. That is quite a process, also. It involves a large air-compressor that is meant for airing up tires and a special nozzle. I simply take the nozzle and blow all the crap out of the machine. Out flies all those wonderful things that make their way into filthy money, including acryllic nails, pocket lint and the like. I blow my nose afterwards, revealing black snot from breathing in the debris.

Christmas
How was Christmas? This year was the in-law-year, so everyone was gone except for me, which is still kind of weird. We visited the Goldmans during the day, and they were taking a family portrait. After many bribes of fruit snacks, they got one picture without tears. "How do they get their children to pose for pictures?" Janelle said after looking at the Robinson's family portrait. Their secret? A lethargic, well-fed eighteen-month-old with a head bigger than mine.

The Single's Branch
I've been attending the single's branch, and I got called to be the second councellor. I'm really learning a lot about the Relief Society and its functions. I started two regular enrichments for once a month: a family history night and a craft night where we make wooden toys for needy children. I'm working on the Relief Society birthday enrichment on March 17. Yes, the Relief Society was organized on St. Patty's Day in the 1800s. Imagine that.

About Me
When I'm not digging crap out of the coin machine or the bathroom, and I'm not attending a church meeting, I'm usually applying for jobs, doing a sewing project, drawing, running, or just stagnating by the telivision, drooling over Andy Sandburg from Saturday Night Live, who is my new celebrity crush, by the way.

I guess that's a pretty sufficient update, since almost nothing has happened since my last blog in October. Until the next blog, take care.