Pennies

Today was entirely devoted to pennies. It's amazing what you can learn about people from the money that they leave behind:

Favorite gum to stick on the back of pennies: spearmint. We have dental tools in the coin room that we have adapted to clean the gunk off of coins and also for picking out coins that got stuck in the machine. I spent a good amount of time scraping blackened globs off of the backs of pennies, and as I scrape, a fresh, minty smell fills the air, reminding me that my job isn't so bad, after all.

Favorite glue to stick pennies together with: super glue. Yes, there are ways to pry coins apart, but as a good chef does not reveal his secret recipe, I will not reveal my secret. It's all I have.

Favorite drink of the bank tellers: Pepsi. I discovered this because I found a bag of pennies that had a sticky, dried substance on the bag's surface. I dumped in the pennies, and at the end of the order, I could hear coins rolling around that would not go through the machine. I leaned over and could smell the distinct smell of Pepsi. The coins were all stuck together by a gooey layer of completely dried-on Pepsi. I could have taken these coins and stuck them in a glass of water. The Pepsi would have replenished its moisture, and I could have had a nice little drink. I didn't do this for sanitary reasons, but it gave me a great idea to market to Pepsi: dehydrated Pepsi-to-go tablets. They could be an evervescent tablet, just like Alka Seltzer, and they would still have all the fizz of real Pepsi. Pepsi-lovers could take these on road trips, camping trips, and they could even put them in 72-hour kits.