Friday the 13th Came Early this Week

The day was busy when we started, but then everything went wrong. After we sent my brother-in-law to Elko, Nevada, to pick up a broken-down armored car, I get a phone call.

"We have a BIG problem," the driver droned into the phone dramatically.

"What is it?" I snapped, annoyed at the theatrics.

"We're in a parking lot and the armored truck is broken down, and there's oil leaking out of the bottom of it."

I ran to the back of the office to tell my mom, who was already having a terrible day. She rushed into the front office in lightening speed, yelling all the way, and somehow managed to dump all of the contents of her desk onto the floor before she found the keys to our other armored truck that doesn't work very well.

I inspected the alleyway behind our facility to make sure there were no signs of leaking before. I found a generous oil spot that had gone completely unnoticed before our crew started to drive the truck all over town.

So, there you have it, two different crews in two different states ran their vehicles out of engine oil on the same day. This was a reminder that I desperately need to get my oil changed this weekend or I will be the third person this week to run my vehicle out of oil, and my head will be on the chopping block.

Family History

There was another enrichment at the Family History Center tonight, and I found out absolutely nothing about my family. I ended up finding myself lost in an English book with coats of arms for different families. The different designs on them were beautiful, and I couldn't help but to be a little jealous that my family does not have a coat of arms. I also found out about early American catholicism and a bunch of cool Sisters and Fathers who kept the Catholic church going. But again, much due to my own laziness and absentmindedness, I found out absolutely nothing about my family.

Big Love

One of my facebook friends invited me to join a group to boycott the series Big Love. HBO's series is showing an LDS temple ceremony, apparently. Guess what? I don't care!

I have watched Big Love once or twice, and it's okay. The writing isn't great, but the entertainment value is pretty high, which is probably the reason that people still watch it. Sometimes I watch stuff that makes fun of my religion and love it. Case in point: South Park is totally awesome, and the Mormon episodes are really funny. Big Love, on the other hand, is like the train-wreck you can't stop watching, like Tyra Banks or Brittany Spears. But not as good as them because I actually did stop watching the show due to boredom. (Sometimes I flip through the channels and stop dead in my tracks, watching Tyra with one eyebrow raised.) Perhaps I will watch this Sunday's episode just because it's controversial. I'm curious like that.

What I care about much more than this controversy is the reason why I found a chewed up fingernail stuck in the keyboard as I was writing this blog. Hint, the fingernail was NOT mine, and it was big enough to have been a toenail. So gross!

New Job

I decided that editing wasn't really my thing. I am choosing to go into a profession that has more of a need for me. I am also choosing a profession that pays more money: swine odor reduction research.

Though I am not as passionate about pigs as I am about the English language, I will find joy in my job, as my industry will soon become a multi-billion dollar enterprise. They will hire me right away because of my poo-shoveling abilities, and my long job search will be over.

I would like to thank those who inspired me to find my true passion. I would also like to thank all of the taxpayers for providing me with a job. These little piggies will help fill my piggie bank.

Enrichment

For enrichment last month, we decided to make wooden toys for orphans. That day, I felt like a superhero saving these poor children from a life of toylessness. Weilding power tools, all of us women sought to toughen up the Relief Society, one belt saw at a time. Our instructor, being used to instructing fourteen-year-old boys, trusted us a lot more than the usual crowed. It was an evening filled with good times and the beautiful sight of wood shavings cascading into the air.

Urine

Today wasn't the best day at work. All I can say is that it involved a shipment of urine samples and two hours of my life that I will never get back. Don't worry. Nothing gross happened.

I didn't have the worst day, however. My mom spent quite some time filing taxes with the help of an accountant, and my sister was completely swamped at work while her daughter called a million times to report how many times her little sister had thrown up by the hour. (The little one was very sick today).

So I'm glad to report that I had the best day of all, except for, of course, the Obamas, who have a lavish party every night.

Debt Free!

I'm taking a moment to gloat: on Saturday, I wrote the last check to pay off all of my student debt, and all of my debt, for that matter. Now I am completely broke, but I am no longer in the negative numbers. Six months out of college, and I still have the same job I did before I graduated, but now it doesn't seem so bad.

For the rest of my Saturday, I decided to take a long, relaxing bath to celebrate. I put on a facial mask, got the water just the right temperature, and brought the phone in the bathroom so I wouldn't have to leave for anything trivial. As soon as I dipped myself in the water, the phone rang.

"We have a hot shot delivery to the airport," my mom said. "Are you dressed?"

"I was five minutes ago," I grumbled.

My long, relaxing bath lasted three minutes.